07 Aug
2014

Sylvain Marcotte

By

I recently switched from an iPhone 5 to a Nexus 5 mostly because I had technical issues with my iPhone 5 and didn’t feel like having my phone replaced once again. There were a few things that were bugging me with iOS 7 but nothing much different from any previous upgrades. Anyway since I have switched, I have a few people asking me which is “better”. In general, I respond with “6 one way, half a dozen the other”. I thought I would do a humorous post about the differences in Pulp Fiction style:

JULES
– Okay now, tell me about the Play Store?

VINCENT
What so you want to know?

JULES
Well, all apps legal there, right?

VINCENT
Yeah, it’s legal, but is ain’t a
hundred percent legal. I mean you
can’t browse onto a website, jailbreak your phone,
and start downloadin’ away. You’re
only supposed to download from certain designated places.

JULES
That’s the Play Store?

VINCENT
Yeah, it breaks down like this: it’s
legal to buy it, it’s legal to own
it and, if you’re the proprietor of
a Play Store, it’s legal to sell it.
It’s legal to carry it, which doesn’t
really matter ’cause – get a load of
this – if Google stops you, it’s
illegal for them to search you.
Searching you is a right that the
Google on Android doesn’t have.

JULES
That did it, man – I’m phone switchin’,
that’s all there is to it.

VINCENT
You’ll dig it the most. But you know
what the funniest thing about Android
is?

JULES
What?

VINCENT
It’s the little differences. A lotta
the same stuff we got here, they got
there, but there they’re a little
different.

JULES
Examples?

VINCENT
Well, on Android, you can buy a keyboard
in a play store. And I don’t mean
in a little split up keyboard either. They give you
a full keyboard, like on a dekstop. On
Android, you can get a swipe keyboard on the play store
Also, you know what
they call a their latest Android operating system?

JULES
They don’t call it Android 5.0?

VINCENT
No, they got the candy bar system there,
they wouldn’t know what the phone a
version number is.

JULES
What’d they call it?

VINCENT
Android System L.

JULES
(repeating)
Android System L. What’d they call
4.4?

VINCENT
4.4 is 4.4, but they call
it Le Kit Kat.

JULES
Le Kit Kat. What do they call
it on Amazon?

VINCENT
I dunno, I didn’t get a Kindle Fire.  But you know what they put on
home screen on Android beside
app shortcuts?

JULES
What?

VINCENT
Widgets.

JULES
Goddamn!

VINCENT
I seen ’em do it. And I don’t mean a
little bit on the lock screen,
they really drown it in it.

JULES
Uuccch!